15 Steps

so this morning i woke up barely on time as has been happening and i have to rush and rush to make it to my first class barely on time (this is very strenuous).

my first two classes this week have been sort of a waking nightmare where all i can do is sit frozen in place and wonder where i'm going to take my life.

then i go up to the top most part of the library to sit in a corner and drink bad coffee from the dining hall.

i've been reading this book that someone left on the desk up there called "behind the Spanish trenches"

it was a book written during the Spanish civil war in an attempt to drum up more support in Britain and elsewhere for the cause of the anti-fascists.

pretty interesting read.

today i actually ate lunch on my first break though and went to my third class where i sort of did the same thing i've been doing in my first two

then i went and did the studing thing.

somebody had written some new graffiti on the desk and i think it was some dave matthews band lyric or something because it sounded kind of familiar and was cornily (man give me some leeway here) romantic.

i responded to it by telling them to go get sucked under a bus.

actually nothing awful has happened to me today i've just had this cold shitty feeling all day.

i had another one of those great dreams the other night where i am going around doing vaguely adventurous things with people i can relate to; a nice change of pace from going to math class (yes this is my most frequent dream. it is a nightmare).